Missing
by Vincent Hales
Summary: How long does one person have to suffer for the mistakes they made?  What do they go through on that special day of rememberance?  ZeroIris implied.  RR with constructive criticism, thank you.


A/N: It's been... a while. My inspiration has been on a long vacation. I don't even know if it will stay long enough for me to finally come back to the near-forgotten story I started. Whether it does or not, I just wanted to apologize for apparently ditching. I will do my best to make sure Final Answer is finished as soon as my inspiration for this story finishes with me. It's either write this now, or it doesn't get written. I hope you enjoy it...

Disclaimer: This is a Songfic, using the song, "Missing", as sung by Evanescence. I do not own this song, nor do I own the characters within this story, i.e., X, Zero or Iris.

Missing

All around the base, the word was spreading... It was _that_ day. It happened every year, of course, and all the reploids on the base who'd been around long enough to have seen the last time _that_ day happened... well, they knew to keep their heads down. After all, it wasn't every day that Zero wore black armband with the Repliforce symbol on it.

Please, please forgive me,

But I won't be home again.

It was a well known fact that he stalked the hallways on this day of all days, and turned himself inward. The rest of the base knew enough to know that if they saw him, he was only moving around on what most assumed was a kind of autopilot. Zero's finely tuned Hunter reflexes had hurt more than one unsuspecting interrupter of his aimless wandering.

Maybe someday you'll look up,

No one but Zero really knew what was going on in his head, when it was _that_ day... They just knew to let him be, and keep the recruits from being in his way. No one, not even X dared pry into what was obviously a very private time for the Crimson Terror. If Zero took any notice of it, he didn't give any outward indication. The only times he ever seemed to show anything during this day was when he would pause from time to time, and murmur something too quiet for anyone else to hear...

"...Iris..."

And, barely conscious,

you'll say to no one:

"Isn't something missing?"

And then Zero would be moving again, off into a random direction. As the Scarlet Hunter passed a room, and the hush fell over as everyone in the room watched, thoughts occurred to everyone. No one ever voiced them, of course. It was learned shortly after the second time _that_ day came and went. No one was to mention this behavior of Zero's to him. No one. So it went that the reploids of Maverick Hunter Headquarters had thoughts on what he was thinking on so hard.

You won't cry for my

absence, I know -

You forgot me long ago.

The thoughts would go, "Poor thing. He's probably taking now to remember that he was responsible for so many reploid deaths in the Repliforce uprising." "It must be some kind of glitch he picked up somewhere, makes him sentimental like X every once in a while..." "I thought he was remorseless. That he was the Crimson Terror... the Red Demon! Doesn't look much like a demon, but I'm not going near him."

Am I that unimportant...?

Am I so insignificant...?

And a single thought, if one could read reploid thoughts, would always be the same...

Isn't something missing?

Isn't someone missing me?

"My fault... I couldn't stop... I wouldn't stop. It was my fault."

Even though I'm the sacrifice,

You won't try for me, not now.

Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone.

Isn't someone missing me?

The cycle just seemed to keep on going, all day long. An aimless and wandering Zero, and an entire base full of reploids intent on letting him do so. Of course, then there were the times that Zero went off base. It was only a rumor on the base, actually, that he even left the base. It was just too much of a standard procedure to let him go where he would, so too many people just lost sight of him in the large base. Had anyone checked, they'd find him in the Outer Gardens, tending a specific bed of flowers...

Please, please forgive me,

But I won't be home again.

After the flowers, it would be on to the Memorial Hall. He had a rather specific pattern, if you watched him. There were some that did... if only because they cared about him... Once Zero arrived at the Memorial Hall, he would stand at the base of the stage area and look up at it, fists clenched tightly, a fine tremor going through his body. It was never the same, every year. Zero would sometimes just stare placidly, sometimes get angry, sometimes just intensely sad... and other times almost all of the above. This time, he was both angry, and intensely sad.

I know what you do to yourself,

I breathe deep and cry out:

A single tear rolls down his face, and he turns on his heel, stalking from the Memorial Hall... like so many years ago. Only this time, he wasn't going to rush off to stop a rebellion. This time, he was just going to the Spaceport. Yet more respects to be paid. It was here he always did the same thing. And the Spaceport authorities had wondered what it meant after the first few times, but caught on after they put two and two together. So they left the Saber marks upon the wall, the tally that Zero made, in a kind of ritual salute... They kept it there, and paid their own respects, of a different kind, every other day of the year that wasn't _that_ day.

"Isn't something missing?

Isn't someone missing me?"

Alone, he would continue on to another memorial. This one unofficial. It was the site of an impact zone from one of the pieces of the Repliforce's Final Weapon against Earth. It was suspected this piece had come from the laboratory on board. It wasn't roped off, it wasn't marked by anything official. The only thing that stood in this spot was a willow tree. It was planted here by Zero, long ago, and given a bit of help by some fertilizer and growing agents... It looked so peaceful, now. Long branches laden with leaves, brushing about and against each other. If one came out here and closed their eyes and just listened, they could be lost by the peacefulness. It was what Zero had intended...

Even though I'm the sacrifice,

You won't try for me, not now.

Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone.

Isn't someone missing me?

It was his little slice of Utopia to give to the world... to her. He would spend a lot of time here, sitting against the tree's base, helmet doffed, eyes closed, neck lolled back. It looked as if he were simply relaxing... But it was only too far from the truth. In truth, for all his peaceful and serene appearance, Zero was perhaps in some of the worse turmoil of his life, every time it was _that_ day. In truth, his thoughts meandered back to the day... she died.

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,

Knowing you don't care.

After a time that, like the Memorial Hall, was never the same, twice in a row, Zero would replace his helm, and regain his footing. He would again continue his wandering, and leave what he had begun to think of as the Utopian Willow Tree behind him... distancing himself from the last known resting place of Iris.

And if I sleep just to dream of you

And wake without you there,

His memories of that time are still some of the hardest to overcome. Perhaps one of the hardest was the regret that he could not have spared the time to bring her body back... To have given her something more... Just more. Instead, this Willow tree, and all that it stood for was what he could, and did give her. After all, every year, on _that_ day, his thoughts always turned inwards upon him, sharp and hurtful...

Isn't something missing?

Isn't something...

Thoughts that went as so, "My fault. It was my fault that I let her die, that I didn't do something sooner. That I didn't try to do anything other than just fight my way through everyone wearing a Repliforce patch... Even Colonel. My fault... I couldn't stop... I wouldn't stop. It was my fault."

As if this weren't enough, of course, it seemed there were more... all because Iris had died, at his hand.

Even though I'm the sacrifice,

You won't try for me, not now.

Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone...

It seemed that he not only blamed himself for her death, but that he felt that he had a duty to uphold. To make sure no one would ever be hurt like that by his hand, ever again. She had been such a caring soul, so gentle, so happy. Zero had meant to tell her... he really had meant to let her know how he felt... and then the Repliforce came, and he was called upon to do his duty. His anger at being interrupted fueled him on... and so he blamed his feelings for her as a cause for Iris' death. So it was that he swore.

Isn't something missing?

Isn't someone missing me?

To anyone, to no one but himself, he would swear, "Never again. No one will ever be that close to me, ever again. I will be the Hunter, and I will do my job. But for the sake of all the others like Iris... I will let no one else come to harm because of me again."

Thusly, _that_ day would end, and he would be walking through the hallways of the Hunter base, only to suddenly pause, and remove his memorial armband, and return to his quarters, to rest and recharge. As Zero falls into slumber... his last conscious thought is always the same.  
"...Iris...I'm sorry."

And so he would wake after a night of charging and faceless dreams, ready to face the next year with his determination to protect the innocent more fierce than ever.

End

A/N: Please, constructive criticism only. I do hope that it was enjoyable. It was a slightly different story than I'm used to writing, I have to say. It just ended up like this, I guess. Kind of wrote itself, really. This story was for all of us who remember that Iris was a kind and gentle person, an even greater pacifist than X.


End file.
